It sounds completely counterintuitive, yet we unintentionally apply this mindset when we go on a trip, raise kids, or define roles within a team. You probably started a business to get more flexibility, have more control over your life, get more balanced or obtain independence. By doing everything in your power to make your business succeed and meeting ‘everyone’s’ expectations in doing that, often strips you of that origin plan.
So, when approaching the realization that you are entering the final sprint of another trip around the sun, it comes with equal parts excitement and anxiety. Not the good kind of anxiety – but rather the type that can paralyze.
To make the most of the year-end opportunities – to take back the control you crave – you have to agree on a few ground rules, especially with yourself.
Some Introspection
An hour of self-reflection on why you are doing something can save you 6 hours on the same task. Be honest to yourself about your own motivation and agenda before analysing those of others. Then, see where your unique skills can truly add value and build the relationships with others who can fill in the gaps. Setting yourself free from expectation, from both yourself and those around you, is the best place to start.
Start Small
…to score big! There’s always that one client or business process that either sucks your energy dry or every second of your available time. Start at #1 – is it a ‘you’ thing or a ‘them’ thing? If it is a ‘fail’, fix it now (before you enter a new year with the same issue). If it is a them thing, weigh up the risk vs reward or do a cost-benefit analysis and determine the best way forward.
Be consistent
The toughest one of all. Set a boundary a week and keep it up without letting ‘older’ ones slide. Playing fast and loose with rules and boundaries just leads to confusion and disappointment. So, when you draw the line – be clear on responsibilities and the way forward, then stick to your guns. When you slip, don’t beat yourself up, but don’t make excuses for yourself or others. Start at #1 and work your way down again.
Create Structure
Routine is the secret ingredient to structured boundaries and guaranteed freedom, especially when you are sharing responsibilities with other stakeholders. Set goals that are true to your vision and remember that setting aside time to communicate updates and manage outcomes is a surefire way to amplify team success.
Say No
And know when it is ‘not no’, but ‘not now’. Communicate clearly and be consistent. A closed door is closed. Availability in your diary does not mean impromptu meetings. When it is ‘not now’, it is important to also communicate ‘when’.
Un-‘Social Media’
Over-scrolling often leads to oversharing, resulting in over-scaring. Be disciplined with your time, platforms and content consumed. There are amazing iOS and Android tools you can use to self-manage.
By setting boundaries you not only change your own behaviour, but also that of others towards you.
There is something very empowering and freeing when standing up for yourself and your business. There is tremendous beauty in a strong, accomplished woman sure of what she needs and confidently communicating it. That is Xena.